Sunday 19th July 2026
Deadlines, Fantasies and something in the middle
My day job is smacking me around like I owe it protection money. Ordinarily, I love my job. Right now, I’m so wiped out I wish I had the option to let it go.
My passion is writing, but I’ve never made money from this. The writing courses I’ve taken have tactfully explained that writers in my genre generally never make a living from their work. So I’ve never entertained the thought of making a living as a writer.
But I saw something a few days ago that had me dreaming bigger for a few hours.
I often use TV shows, audiobooks and movies as background noise while I work from home. It’s always something I’ve already read/watched. Last week, my playlist landed on a TV show: On Becoming A God In Central Florida. One season, made in 2019, set in the 1990’s. I’m not sure why there’s only one season. Maybe the pandemic. It’s a story I would have liked to see continue.
If you haven’t seen it and you want to, stop here. Spoilers for episode one are below. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
It’s about a woman named Krystal who’s struggling to support herself and her young baby. All she has is her husband’s pyramid scheme business with a company called FAM. Krystal’s husband – Travis – wholeheartedly believes he’s on the road to riches with FAM. Travis has a good job, but wants to leave that job so he can put more time into the business.
FAM is the company, but it’s really a character all on its own. It’s like multi-level marketing had a baby with toxic positivity. FAM followers display a cult-like enthusiasm for the brand and its founder, and anyone not on board gets treated like they don’t know their nose from their backside.
Krystal is not on board with Travis quitting his job, but Travis pushes ahead with his plan. He gets himself a tuxedo and leaves with an absolute bang. He’s driven away in a limo, genuinely believing he’s on his way to being a millionaire.
This scene really struck a chord this time. As has the fantasy it represents. I’m in the throes of publishing my first novel, but keep losing time to my day job. There are moments where pulling a Travis and writing full-time feels like the right thing to do for my sanity. But like Krystal, I look around and see the family I’m supporting and quickly come to my senses. Still, I envy Travis’s delusion and his commitment to the disaster.
And all this has got me thinking: is it fair to write myself off before I’ve even published my first book? There are such things as successful writers. They all started as people with jobs. And a few of them started by self-publishing. Example: one of my favorite authors is Andy Weir. He published The Martian as a series on his own website. For free. He put it up on Amazon KDP for 99 cents when his readers asked him to. The Martian ended up as a movie. That level of success is rare, but assuming I’ll never do well at all seems a bit defeatist.
I guess the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Writing is my passion and the ultimate career I’d love to have. My day job – even on the bad days – enables that passion. It’s how I pay for book covers and software and all the bits it takes to run the website where I’ve published this blog. The day job provides the resources for writing. And it’s okay if I never get to stop working a day job. It gave me what I have now. I’m grateful for that. Even when I’m getting spanked by deadlines.
So my day job has put me a little bit behind with publishing. But it’s the reason I get to publish. I’ll take it, and I’ll do it right, for as long as I need to.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Kirby
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